After completion of the “pre-adoption phase” where the children live with us but the custody is still with the portuguese state, the final step is the court system who has to decide to legally pass the children on to us.
In the pre-adoption phase we have been closely followed/supervised by Social Security in the beginning (with home visits, online meetings etc) and then gradually less and less. From around 4 months together, the contact has been sporadic (sharing pictures and stories on our WhatsApp group) and when we reached 6 months, Social Security told us they were ready to close off this phase and proceed to the final step in the adoption process. This is how it went down:
Social Security made their full report on the adoption case along with their recommendations and sent it all to the family court. This work took around a month to conclude.
Simultaneusly with this being sent to court, we made a formal adoption application to the court. Basically a standard legal document requesting that the custody be transfered to us, along with names and adresses of three character witnesses of our choise. People who know us well individually and as a couple, who has also been with us during the pre-adoption phase – and who can testify that we are good and caring parents.
A few weeks later we received a letter to appear at court. The atmosphere in our house instantly became a strange combination of joy and excitement – mixed with unease of what to expect at the court house. The kids already had experience with the court system, but in traumatic settings of a family being split up and kids being sent to institutions + as witnesses to crimes being committed. So no wonder they were fearing what to expect from this appearance. Neither of us parents have any experience with the courts so we were not of much help…..
To calm everyone down and focus on the festive part, we decided we will go out for dinner three times after the finalisation of the adoption. Each kid will pick a restaurant/food theme of their choice and so we will celebrate being a family “the true portuguese way”: by eating good food!
Finally the big day arrived. We all dressed up in our finest clothes and met up with the witnesses outside the court building. First my portuguese wife got called in for a hearing which took some 10 minutes. Then it was my turn. I entered and found myself in a big court room with three other people: a judge, a prosecutor and a court assistent. All women and all very friendly.
They asked if I knew the kids, if I wanted to adopt them, if I understood what it meant and included – and then proceeded to wish me the best of luck with our future as a family. It was over in five minutes and it was a very pleasant experience.
So…… we are now not only emotionally but also legally a family of five!
Fun fact: this court appearance happened (almost to the day) exactly one year after we first met the kids
New documents
The next and final step, is to wait for the court to send over the formal documents of adoption. With these we will make new documents for the kids. New birth certificates, new ID numbers, new social security numbers, new everything. Basically they will get a whole new identity and only one document from their “old life” will remain hidden somewhere within the system: If they some day wish to marry, a search will be made on this document to ensure they don’t accidently marry a close relative from their biological family.
(If they want to research/contact their biological family, they can do this when they are legally adult. And they have the right to access the information stored about them and the family, from they are 16 y.o.)