He is danish, she is portuguese. We met in Lisboa in 2010 and had both just come out of longer relationships, so were definitely not looking for love. But we found just that.
We both enjoyed everything the big city life in Lisboa has to offer. Cafés, restaurants, nightlife. Hanging out in the historic parts of town, drinking wine on viewing spots, handfeeding the Peacocks. Going to concerts and cultural events. The full package for a couple with no kids.
But we had a dog. A big dog. Our 50 m2 apartment was not big enough for all of us, so we had to put him in a kennel. Every weekend we would visit, take him out for walks and plays – and feel like horrible, horrible parents!
Eventually we decided to leave the city for a life on the westcoast. We ended up in a place with space. Plenty of rooms. A big garden. A calm neighbourhood close to nature and close to the ocean. Plenty of nature around, plenty of beaches to go to. The type of place people come to enjoy their weekends in the spring – and have vacations in the summer. By then the streets and beaches are full, the surf is on and the cultural offers plenty. But in the winter it is quiet and you meet the same five people in the café over and over and over again….
As we settled down, we started thinking more and more about having children and building a family of our own. We were both in our 40es, had tried the natural way and also IVF treatments at a clinic. No success. The only remaining option was egg donation; a treatment that is complicated, expensive – and mentally challenging due to all the “what if it does not work” thinking we knew too well from the IVF treatments.
Adoption
So we decided to explore the other path: adoption. We entered the process to become approved as adoptive parents in 2021.
Many european countries has international adoptions where children come from far away and the process is handled by adoption agencies. Portugal has a national adoption programme run by the Social Security (Segurança Social), in some places in cooperation with the church (Santa Casa de Misericordia). This means the children that are up for adoption are portuguese.