From Zero to Three. Adopting siblings in Portugal

It is half past nine. The small ones are asleep and the big one is enjoying living-room heaven; in front of a big TV hammering out whatever youngster program is “in” these days, while simultaneously chatting with friends on the newly received mobile phone. What better time to finish the half a bottle of leftover white wine that lays waiting in the fridge.

I open the fridge door and stare straigth into an empty bottle. No cork on and no wine to be seen. Baffled I started searching and yes there it was…. the cork had given away and all the stuff in the bottom shelf in the door was now calmly sailing around in my precious Vinho Verde. What better time to write the story of a typical day in my life now, compared to before having kids.

My life used to be quite calm. Most days I would wake up when I finished sleeping. To me that was always the biggest luxury of having left the corporate ratrace, to run my own little company. Up to get some calm breakfast, chit-chat with the missus who also runs her own thing and then do some online work until I got distracted and take the dog for a walk, cut the hedge, build on some furniture idea or meet up with friends for lunch.

Later more work and/or more socialising. Interrupted by the occasional 3 day bicycle/hiking trip in the mountains or a roadtrip to explore new corners of this beautiful country. To put it short: a pot of unorganised enjoyment of life.

BZZZZZZZZZ! At exactly 7:00 this morning, the alarm clock screamed me out of my calm dreams. Up to check if the big one is awake as she goes to school first. Roger. Then grab a military-style shower while trying to plan the day. Out to chat a bit with the big one, then upstairs to wake the small ones in the most pedagogical way, while maintaining the serious undertone of “no, there is no alternative. You have to get up”.

Down to kiss the big one goodbye, along with my wife who drops her at school on the way to work. She has a busy day out so I am the stay-at-home-dad today. Prepare breakfast and make foodbags for the small ones, for school. One sandwich with butter for her and ham fro him, one yoghurt natural, one piece of fruit. Done deal. Up a second time to check that there is still life. One of them is OK fast and could make a career in the army, the other is so slow that I wonder if she is fully awake before lunch….

Down again to get some breakfast, while occasionally shouting up the stairs that we are running late and they really need to decide what clothes to put on. (Even though one is fast, they love to chit-chat in the morning). Make myself a coffe, shout some more and finally… the golden half hour where we all sit around the breakfast table and talk about this and that. Big stuff and nothing. What to expect from the day today, coordinate who has activities after school, wonder if the cows also dream and can they fall and hurt themselves while sleeping – and imagine the stuff we will do together in the weekend. Kids brains are amazing.

08:15 (+/-) we head to the car. Operation “put sunscreen in the face while dad drives us to school” completed and kids run up the stairs to the cosy, small village-school, greeting friends along the way.

Back home. Hang the clothes I washed last night, empty the dishwasher. fill both machines again and click “start” (I fear for the day they join a union and demand 8 hour workdays). Roughly sort the dry clothes in “theirs” and “ours” and try to fold my un-ironed T-shirts, while swallowing another coffee.

Worktime! Out to do some woodwork. Getting pretty much into it when the old one calls. English has been cancelled today so can I pick her up at 12:30. Aaaargh. OK. Drive to town (25 min) to get her, then head back (25 min). Shop some food on the way. Grab some lunch together while I try to get passionate about the latest brazilian between-aged rapper (Call me an old fart but….. The amount of talent-less, computerized artists that are around these days, is amazing. Yack!)

Back to the workshop, do some more work. WTF is it 16:30 already? Drop everything I have in my hands, go get the small ones – and drop one of at rollerblading. The other wants to stay and watch. Great. Head back home, Pickup the big one to go and buy screensaver and phone cover. Drop her off at home then out to pick up the others.

Back home it is shower time. Who goes first (BIG discussion; apparently showering first is up there with broccoli, a stone in the shoes or the plague). Make decision and one, two, three they are in the process while I cook some completely random dinner made from whatever comes first out of the freezer. Ahhh those days where I would shop local gourmet fish, cheese from the mountains, some lightly matured presunto and tryout new recipes. Now I buy meat in kilo packages along with bags of 50 fish fingers. Large-scale efficiency. Ordnung muss sein.

Wife returns home after a long workday. We all have cosy diner together (in Portugal meals are really sacred and it is a great time to just be together, have time together and enjoy). The “who-does-what” list on the kitchen wall has decided who sets the table, who cleans up after dinner – and who sorts and folds the clean clothes, then puts in the bags that each carry up to their rooms.

Finally it is time for a bit of tablet-time for the small ones before we carry them to bed around 21.00. The big one stays up a bit longer and around 21:30 it is the perfect time for that half bottle of leftover white-wine I have waiting in the fridge……..